If you’ve ever seen the movie or musical, Legally Blonde, you know where I am in life right now. I am Elle Woods, crying in the bunny costume, waiting for Emmett to show up and give me the pep talk of a lifetime.
But here’s my issue. My life isn’t a broadway musical, as much as I wish it was and as much as I act like it is. I don’t have an Emmett. I had a Warner, and he dropped me for no reason. Maybe I was too much of a Marilyn and not enough of a Jackie. I really have no clue. And I won’t have an Emmett for a while, with the way that things are going. So I have to be my own lifecoach and motivator. If you’re in the same boat, here’s how we can make it through this.
#1: Don’t focus on the past
Within the last three days, I have majorly pulled myself down by focusing on what I miss about my last relationship. I kept thinking about being sad and alone and that just made me feel more sad and alone. But that DID NOT FIX ANYTHING. Yes, my breakup caused problems. Yes, it tore me to pieces. But my life is not over just because a stupid boy couldn’t see what he had. There will be bad days, but there will also be even better days. Keep your eyes on your goals and keep moving forward. There’s a Disney quote that I’ve loved for a while now that totally relates to this.
“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
#2: Find what you love and work for it
At this point in my life, I know that I love reading, writing, acting, teaching, social media, and craft projects. So that’s basically all that I’ve been doing. I’m trying to build an audience and possibly a source of income by doing what I love. I do not really plan to work in retail forever, so I’m doing my best to make a career out of what I love to do. Continuing to try and make a living through a job that I don’t absolutely love is not how I want to live my life. I’m starting small, with a blog and a youtube channel, but I want so badly to make it work.
#3: Set goals and get excited
When I was still in a relationship, he and I had made plans to move in together when we went to college. We had bought dishes and towels and a handful of other apartment things together. Four months ago, when we split up, I got the stuff that I paid for, so I still have dishes and towels and that dream of living on my own. My desire to have my own place didn’t leave when he did though. Within a month or so of the breakup, I bought these two large, rolling plastic containers that fit perfectly under my bed. These are my “moving out boxes”, almost a nod to a hope chest or the little box of baby stuff in the movie/book Eat, Pray, Love.
These boxes are filled and overflowing with dishes, towels, cookware, decor, school supplies, and more. Just pulling the stuff out to take that picture got me excited. This is the chip on my shoulder. Now, instead of throwing away money on random junk I don’t need, I try to put money toward the things that I will need when the countdown at the bottom of this site runs out. Being independent is my goal. Yes, it is painful that it reminds me of someone I lost, since that was who made me sure that I wanted to leave my parents’ house. But I know that I will be so much happier without his OCD-ness in the end.
#4: Stay connected
As I should have expected, taking a year off from school has taken away some of my socializing opportunities. I haven’t been in a theatrical performance in a while, and a year ago I was studying up for my role in The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I am trying my best to stay connected to my friends from high school and college. As an introvert, this isn’t really an easy task, and I will admit that I have really fallen behind on this in the last month, but I’m trying to get back out there.
I will say that I have been involved with a short film (in fact, I should be meeting up with people about it next week). I am back in my church, trying to be active, since I co-teach the 3 year olds Sunday school class. I meet friends at the mall for coffee and I should probably go to the movies more. I like going on “friend dates” and I definitely need to start doing them more often. Socialization, even if you’re an introvert like me, is very important, and I have to remind myself that and keep myself out there.
#5: Keep it positive
Look on the bright side. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Think of all the fun things you’ll do and the nice people you’ll meet. Every day, you’re a step closer to meeting your future spouse and having your dream job. You will have bad days, bad weeks, and rough months, believe me. But keep your eye on the goal and remember that the creator of the universe holds your future in his hands. It’ll all be okay in the end.
Now go put the soundtrack of Legally Blonde: The Musical on repeat and get to it!